children, love, mindfulness, motherhood, parenting

I’m a Mom. Who Am I Now?

Life after giving birth is a lot like returning home from a long trip. Everything looks different. An old throw blanket might look like something you’ve never seen before. A vase catches the window light in an unfamiliar way. Everything looks too old or too new. Nothing quite fits and there is an unsettling feeling […]

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motherhood, Uncategorized

Why I Announced My Pregnancy Early

There are a lot of social norms around pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing that can seem so obvious for a first-time mom, that you don’t question them, as though the path is so well-worn, you can easily find your way by following every mother that came before you. I learned in my first pregnancy that following […]

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children, mindfulness, motherhood, Uncategorized

Why They Should See You Cry

I’m pregnant and have a two-year-old daughter which means I’m low on energy, high on hormones, and pretty much on the verge of emotional breakdown any given second after I open my eyes each morning. I’ve always tried to keep emotional composure in front of my daughter, even when she was a newborn. I come […]

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child illness, motherhood, parenting

The Things We Cannot Handle

Alone in the bathtub, my hands burned when they hit the water, raw from scrubbing with alcohol from containers suspended along the hospital walls. I had pressed the thin metal bar, over and over, obsessive and Pavlovian, every time I entered or exited the room. I needed some security, some protection, some kind of relief […]

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mindfulness, motherhood, recovery, self-help

Can You Love Her Too?

A few months ago, a string of events and circumstances left me broken, in one of the lowest points I can remember. When telling stories about ourselves, our minds will locate us in time and space. As we search for meaning, we identify that day when everything turned around, or the moment it all began […]

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alcoholism, motherhood, recovery, Uncategorized

Motherhood Can’t Fix You

Mothers are archetypes in lore and mythology for good reason. It’s not just the power to give birth that sets them on an imagined pedestal; it’s the array of supporting qualities—edgeless compassion, unwavering kindness, the glorified selflessness. The role of mother was both captivating and terrifying, because it simply wasn’t me. What metamorphosis would I […]

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